Today I am happy, for they only visited me for a short time last night. I know what killed the girl, fire. Goodbye. October 10, 2012 They did visit me last night, but I fear for tonight. Today, just now, I turned on my music to go to sleep, like always, and went into the bathroom attached to my bedroom. All of a sudden, the music got really, loud, like someone had turned it up, and not with the buttons, because I didn’t hear the noises it makes. I came out and the sound turned down a little, but still not as quiet as it had been. Creepy. I am not quite sure they visited me, but I do know that I had a weird dream, and in it I was the little girl ghost. There was fire(like I said before, that I though fire killed her, I am almost sure of it now), I was overcome with a sudden fear of fire. This is what happened in that horrible dream:
Witch Trial I wake up suddenly. It is night. I stand up. I call for my parents. They do not answer. I notice a dim glow by the door. I do not hear my dad’s snore. I go to see them. I am scared. I do not know why. The hallway is bathed in light. At first it is pretty. A beautiful glowing, moving thing. It gives off a heat that keeps me warm in the cold winter. I see myself in the mirror surrounded by it. I laugh. It seems to laugh with me. Then I realize what it is. Fire. It keeps laughing. I can hear the crackles. It is laughing at me. My parents’ room is covered. I scream. The crackling becomes louder. I hear something else. It is Mr. Greer’s laugh. It sounds bad. He hates my parents. But he can’t let them die! I need them. I love them. I run to my room and hide under the bed, hoping it will go away. The smoke comes in. It covers the room. I start to choke. When I put my head down it is better. And then Mr. Greer stops laughing. I think he is gone. I can’t stay. I know I can’t stay. If I stay I will die. But Mommy and Daddy are gone. They stayed or left. If they left, will they com back for me? Maybe. The fire seems to show me them. They beckon to me from in the flames. Then they are gone, walking away. “Don’t leave me!” I follow them. I yell at them. The fire catches on my clothes, but I don’t care. They lead me farther. Why don’t they hear me? I stop because it hurts. They turn and smile. It isn’t them. Then they are gone. I turn and run, screaming in the pain. I jump out of the window and into the snow. My neighbors see me scream. They grab me and push me down, throwing ice-cold water on me. The pain is horrible. Help me. Help Mommy. Help Daddy. Stop it. Stop it. Stop the fire. Tell it to go away. Why aren’t you doing anything? Where are we going? What about Mommy and Daddy? Let go of me! I want to go back! Tell the fire to bring Mommy and Daddy back. The preacher talks to us. I don’t listen. I can’t stop talking to him. “Tell it to go away. Tell it to bring Mommy and Daddy back. You have God. God helps people. You said God doesn’t like it when we die. Then where is he now? Tell him to bring them back! I want my Mommy! I want Daddy! Mommy! Daddy! Don’t leave me! Come back!” He doesn’t hear me. He can’t. They tied me up and gagged me. Why? What did I do wrong? He says the evil thing. ‘Witch’. Mommy told me stay away from them. Where are we going? Stop! You’re hurting me! Stop dragging me! I can walk! Ow. You dragged my legs over thorns. It hurts. Do you care? My Mommy and Daddy left me. Where did they go? Ouch! You just threw me into the cart. Like Daddy threw potatoes after he farmed. I can’t see! Get this off my eyes! Please. I wanna go home! Make the fire go away. Tell God to bring Mommy and Daddy back from where they went. Tell him I hate the fire. It is following us. I smell it. They untie me and take off the thing on my eyes. Why are we here? This is the court. ‘Am I a witch’? Why do you ask me that? Of course not. But you won’t let me talk. Why? What did I do? Mommy and Daddy? Are they here? Mommy! Daddy! Come back! Where did you go? I need you. I’m scared. They hate me. I know it. I see the fire. It is on the candles. I stare at it. It is so pretty. How could it hurt us so much? What proves what? Huh? I wasn’t listening. I’m not a witch! Just because I was looking at fire doesn’t make me one. I didn’t kill Mommy and Daddy! They left me to die. They went somewhere safe and left me. Why won’t you let me explain? I can’t bewitch anyone. I don’t know how. Stop! You’re hurting me! Where are we going? Are Mommy and Daddy there? Please tell me they are. I miss my Mommy and Daddy! They don’t love me. But I love them. Can’t they see that? Can’t they see everything I do I do for them. I never want to hurt anyone, especially them. Can’t they see I try to make them love me? But they go away. They yell at me. They spank me. They left me. Why? Mommy, Daddy, I’ll do better! I promise! Don’t let these people hurt me! They don’t like me! I know they don’t! Mommy! Daddy! I see the wood piled around a thing. It is metal. The thing is black. It is a pole. They burned Sarah here. You told me never say her name again. You said she was a witch. Why are we here? I haven’t done anything! I turned five the other day. I did that. You didn’t celebrate. You gave me a new dress. Your eyes were cold. I know you don’t love me. But I’ll do anything! Anything! Just love me! Just save me! The fire is laughing. I hear it. They heard me say that. What else is that popping noise? It has to be laughing. No! I’m not a witch! I never killed your dog! I never cursed your cow to give sour milk! I didn’t know your daughter, I’m sorry she got sick! Why would I do any of that? I don’t hate you. Stop! Mommy! Daddy! Save me! Please! I love you. Don’t you see? I’d do anything at all just to hear you say those three little words. I Love You I say them. I mean them. Please don’t leave me forever! Come back! Mommy? Daddy? I’m tied now. The wood was firewood they cut earlier. They said it was a ‘donation-thingy’. Mommy, Daddy. I see the fire. It is high. I’m scared. But I know you never loved me. It burns my back. The metal is hot. It is burning at my back. The fire reached my feet just now. the wood by my feet. I see Mr. Greer. You are next to him. He can’t see you. I see your halos. Who is that with you? The one with the wings? He’s really pretty. Ouch. My feet hurt. I’m sweating. I’m screaming, Mommy. I’m yelling Daddy. Please send that one in black. The death. Please send him now. My feet hurt. My legs hurt. My throat hurts from smoke and screaming. My dress caught. I’m all fire now. My hair too. I must be really pretty. Why does fire kill if it is so pretty? How can it hurt so much. All I feel is pain. Pain. Pain and sadness. I see death. Here he comes. Why does he stop. Hurry. You stretch out your arms and I reach for you. The angel stops smiling. He pulls you up. Mommy? Daddy? Where did you go? Who’s that? Death freed me already. Come get me. Now I’m scared. I won’t look at my fire. No one else is, some are puking. Am I that ugly? Is that why you hate me? I won’t look. Mommy, Who’s this man? He stepped in between us. The angel and him talk. What are they saying. Daddy, tell them I want to go with you. No. I can’t be a ghost. I have to go to Heaven. He grabs me. Mommy! Daddy! Stop smiling at the angel! Can’t you see I’m here? No tears in Heaven? Then don’t go! You have to love me! I love you! He’s dragging me somewhere, save me! Stop him! Where are you going? Turn around, see your daughter. See me cry for you! Hear me beg you. You don’t. You won’t. You wouldn’t if you could. Daddy, Mommy. Goodbye. You never loved me. But this man says he will. He is like the angel, but he is different. He is dark. He is evil. But I just want to be loved. I’d do anything just to hear those three little words: I Love You You never said it. If you did you never meant it. I’m going with him. You’re not even looking at me, you are almost up. Almost to Heaven. Goodbye. All I want is to be loved, and since you won’t do it, I found someone who will. He’s gonna hurt me. I know it. I know who he is. He is Satan. But if he loves me, I don’t care. I’d do anything to hear those three little words: I Love You He can’t love me, I know he can’t but there are people he has. they don’t like God. One of them will love me. Somewhere, someone will. I’d do anything to hear them say those three little words: I Love You But you don’t. You don’t love me. So goodbye Daddy and Mommy. I’m turning away from God. Maybe someone not a Christian will love me. Because no one else does. When they do, I’ll do anything for them to say those three little words: I Love You Now stop talking to me. I’ve had enough. I’m going to pretend you never lived. Goodbye, Mommy and Daddy. You never loved me. I’ve always loved you. I just can’t take this anymore. I have to try something else. I Still Love You. I Always Will. Goodbye Mommy. Goodbye Daddy. I Will Always Love You.
I woke up. And then she was there. I realized I was her in the dream. That was how she felt, not me. Her hands were on my temples, she was sending me her memories. She was crying, but her tears evaporated in the heat of the flames I now saw licking at her flesh. He dress was charred, and she floated away. Back into my closet. I can still see the images of the fire, still hear the sounds, still hear the accusations. I can still feel how she/we felt during the time. I have grown farther from my parents, so I can relate to how she felt. I don’t even know if I still believe in God. That is all from last night. So...goodbye.
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